A Sound For You
In the medical profession we always think of high-blood pressure as “the silent killer” but truth be known, it isn’t.
High-blood pressure is the result of the real silent killer which is what I like to call “absorption of secondary stress”. What this means is that everyday, all-day we are taking in the stress of the world, insane amounts of bad news, and other people’s drama.
In 2008, my life was in a very dark place. I was burnt out, fatigued, and exhausted. My blood pressure was in the 150s and my heart rate was around 100.
Externally, I was super-fit and running marathons, but internally I was literally falling apart.
Ironically, I was too many things to too many people. I wasn’t allowed to fall apart. I didn’t have time to fall apart. I was scared. Really scared.
I don’t much like to think about how lonely I felt.
I was surrounded by people who loved me immensely.
That made it harder and lonelier. You see, my awareness level was so low that I blamed them for the stress I was feeling.
If they weren’t counting on me, I wouldn’t have had to be anything.
Or so I thought. But then something happened. Call it Divine Inspiration, call it a weird twist of events, or call it just plain luck, but one night, I had a kind of awakening to the truth.
I was looking down at my shaking hands and I realized something unique. I was responsible.
I am responsible. Whatever my life was, or is, it is me who shapes it.
It is me who decides where to focus my attention.
IT IS ME WHO DECIDES HOW I EXPLAIN LIFE TO MYSELF.
Therefore, it is me who can change it.
I took a long hard look at how I operated my life and I learned something strange.
I didn’t operate my life.
My life operated me.
I would wake up and turn on the news, stress out about the latest crisis, begin my day in a state of weakness, absorb everyone else’s problems as the day progressed, engage in some form of mental diversion from my problems at night and start the cycle over again the next day.
My life sucked.
Because I sucked.
I wasn’t calling the shots, I was absorbing the shots.
My health was paying the price.
THE TURN AROUND
“What if….” I began to wonder…
“What if I were able to take control of my own thoughts ?”
“Can a person control their own thoughts?”
It seemed to me that my brain had a mind of it’s own.
Not knowing where else to begin I bought a book on meditation.
It was incredibly helpful, but also incredibly frustrating.
When I tried to sit in silence and close my eyes, my mind would race.
Ah, but then something important happened.
I remembered that my wife had given me a New Age CD called “Loon Magic” a few months before. ”
Maybe..” I thought, “if I could simply focus my attention on the music and the loons calling out, maybe then my run away mind would calm down.”
You know, it did.
Not always, not right away, but sometimes.
And sometimes, gave me a glimpse of what was possible when my mind was still.
I made the decision to turn off the Constantly Negative News for good and make my mornings about connecting with myself in silent meditation to New Age music.
Today my life is still not perfect, but my hands don’t shake and I’m full of peace and joy.
My New Age CD collection has grown to epic proportions, I have written 3 books, and I help other medical professionals find their way out of the darkness that was once my reality.
All as a result of controlling my thoughts and expanding my awareness.
If you need help finding your inner silence, I encourage you to turn off the news and turn on some New Age music and sit with yourself a while.
I suspect that you are pretty amazing company if you just give yourself a chance to experience your own inner wisdom.